That’s how I’ve been feeling when it comes to my running lately. Ever since the marathon, I’ve not been in a regular running routine. Of course, I know that I’m not supposed to go back full throttle right after one but I do think I’m supposed to be running a little more than I am.(Jason went for a 12 mile long run last week….) My normal running time has gotten interrupted lately by my 2 yr old that has decided not to go to sleep until really late most nights. My husband helps me out with her but can’t until he’s gotten our 6 yr old to bed. (Zach says he can’t go to sleep without his daddy lying beside him. 🙂 )
I guess things felt extra bad yesterday because I hadn’t been able to run since last Tuesday or Wednesday and I was feeling the grouchiness emerge. On top of that, I was STARVING yesterday, all day!! It’s one thing to feel that way the day after a long run because I feel like I can pat myself on the back and say, “Eat up, you’ve earned it.” But when I’ve done nothing that day or the day before, it’s not a good feeling to feel like my stomach is a bottomless pit. Last night, after Jason got Zach to sleep, I was still in bed with Zoe, who was still not asleep (but I had been). He told me he’d take over with her so I could get my run in. At that moment, I didn’t care if I ever ran another step. I was frustrated, not at Jason, not at Zoe…. I just was in general. In my best Eeyore impersonation, I declared, “I think I’m just going to give up on all of this. I think I’ll just see how much weight I can gain.” Of course, about 10 minutes later I had my running clothes on and ran 4 miles of frustration off.
I didn’t really mean that I was going to give up and my new goal was to eat as much as possible. I think what I really meant was I’m scared to death that this whole running thing is suddenly going to stop one day and I will turn back into the person that I used to hate looking at in the mirror. Honestly, I can’t go down that road again….I won’t let myself. I think that’s why I start feeling like the wheels are coming off the wagon if my routine is thrown off.
What I’m saying is that I’m quitting at being a quitter. It’s silly for me to let a few days get me down and instead of bellyaching and moping, I’m going to do what I can when I can. This isn’t the first time I’ve felt this way but I wanted to share it with you this time. I wanted you to know (in case you didn’t already) that if you feel like this, you aren’t the only one and you can get back on track. Don’t let a few bad days ruin a good thing.
I’ve got a 5k race this weekend and then the next Saturday is the Crescent City Classic 10k. I haven’t trained as much as I have in the past for it but I know I can run 6 miles, I know it’ll be fun and I know if I skipped out on it I’d really be let down.
I feel much better today, btw. It’s a good thing I waited to blog about it now instead of doing it yesterday like I thought about doing.
I’m going to do what I can, with what I have, with the time I’m given and I’m going to be grateful for it. 🙂
P.S. Don’t forget to enter my Train Like a Mother giveaway!